Who Knew? We All Did...

Who knew that living on your own, being in a relationship, having a full time job, raising a child and being pregnant could be so hard? Well, we all did. We all do. Even just a single one of those things can send a person into craziness. That's why they say, "Life's tough, get a helmet."

So when I'm stressed out at work, what do I do? Well, numerous things, but really I pretty much do the same thing I do when I'm stressed out about something else... I whine. I whine and whine and moan and complain until I break down because I feel like no one hears me. When my check comes back and I can't make rent, I freak. Why? Obviously, I don't want to be evicted among other things. When my daughter is puking and I can't get off work for my 2 1/2 hour end-of-day shift I get angry and frustrated...and I freak. When my body has aches-n-pains and I waddle and pee every hour and I can hardly stay awake for more than 7 hours straight, I get angry and frustrated...then I freak. When I start freaking out over numerous things at one time I pretty much lose it.

Today was one of those days when I pretty much lost it. This time though, I was able to control the release. I went into Abbi's room to clean it and just sat on the bed and cried for a few minutes. After that I just got up and went to the store for some groceries. By time I drove there and walked around the store I felt better. I laid around the house and messed around on the computer until it was time to go back to work.

I only had to work about an hour of my afternoon shift before I was able to leave and bring Abbi back home. My dad called and said they were going to help me with my rent. I think I can work out one of the maternity dresses Ashley gave me so that I can go to the wedding with Scott next weekend and Abigail isn't puking anymore (so far). I did, however, have to cancel my maternity shoot that I wanted SO, SO badly. That broke my heart. We just don't have the money. If I wasn't pregnant I would just pick up a part-time job and be done with it. But it just isn't so.

As far as the pregnancy goes...well, it's pregnancy all right. I'm sleeping better with the occasional help of my sleep-aids, so that's good. On the other hand, everything seems to be hurting quite a bit lately. My ankles and feet, my chest, my thigh muscles, my back and not to mention the internal organs Emmalie insists on pounding at all hours of the day and night! I wish this apartment had a jacuzzi tub that I could relax in but ours is just too small for me to get any sort of comfort out of. I really need to clean this house badly. Unfortunately, it takes me a very long time because I'm quickly exhausted and I have to stop a lot to rest. I am quite lucky that Scott takes care of the kitchen (one of the things I hate doing the most). As for the rest of the pregnancy I am looking forward to the baby shower in 5 weeks, getting set up and ready for her to be born and then her actually being here in 9 weeks (give or take).

Now that I have removed Abigail from daycare I have begun planning schedules, menus and lessons for her while she is home during the day. I also need to work on a Helper Chart for her to assist in chores like picking up her room and feeding the cat. I have a good idea on how I'm going to go about this but I need a bit of funds to create it, so it too will have to wait.

It's about that time where I make dinner. I'm hungry and so is the kiddo. Besides, this is long enough for my first blog :-)